I joke that my mid-life crisis started when I was 35 and it’s not over yet!
Actually, though, as I revealed in my special UnstickingTM Teleclinic last week, my life has been on a Transitional path since March 1985. That’s when I hit the wall big time and decided to reinvent my life. I simply had no idea that finding and LIVING my true Calling would take quite so long. And, be full of so many transitions.
When I turned 60 last September I made myself 2 promises: 1) I would no longer do work I didn’t want to do, and 2) I wouldn’t work with people that I didn’t want to.
Those 2 commitments have created interesting changes in my practice. The ‘good’ ones are the nifty, new clients I’ve met since then, the challenging new work that has come my way, and the increases in my income. What hasn’t been so neat are some of the emotions that have accompanied this Transition.
Let me explain, in the hopes you can relate.
We have this fantasy that change will be smooth and easy. OK, maybe that’s MY fantasy. 😉
Seriously though, I’ve noticed that many of my creative, eclectic clients are by nature OPTIMISTIC about the future. Dreamers one and all we create plans that are based on nothing going wrong. Then when the car dies, the snow storm wipes out the power for 2 days, or we get sick, we find ourselves waaaaaaaaaaay behind!
Oh, and let’s not forget about the jim jams. That’s a fancy word for the emotional reactions that surface during a transition.
That’s what’s been happening to me of late. Sure, rationally I can blame my lack of productivity on the chaos caused when the engine in the SUV crapped out. Or, the interruptions and noise created by the renovations going on in the home office. And, the problems created when my we site move took 2 weeks instead of 3 days.
True, those things are aggravating, but that’s not really what’s really kept me STUCK!
Have you noticed this? The more you want your dreams and the closer you get to them, the MORE VULNERABLE you feel.
Sure been happening to me lately. I feel very tender, raw. So, if a client doesn’t immediately respond I start feeling paranoid, “Did I say something wrong?”
You see, transitions are times that take us back in some ways to our childhood self. Times when we didn’t have a lot of power or influence. Times when there were bogey men. Times when some of us were abused.
And, all those feelings get resurrected when the roller coaster of transition drops down the hill into depression.
So, what can we do when Transition time makes us feel vulnerable, scared, and overwhelmed?
Here are some things I’m doing:
1. Talking It Through
Even Introverts need to talk it over. Find a good friend, usually a woman cause most women can provide the emotional listening you need. My best friend Brenda and I talk for hours every week, particularly when either of us is struggling. And, believe that’s most every week cause both of us are working hard to grow up.
2. Write It Out
I’ve been stuck writing. Thank God I found and wonderful writing coach and healer who has been guiding me through some very powerful writing exercises. Thanks to Debora Seidman of www.WritingThePrayerOfYourLife.com I’ve started to write again. Now, all the uck is coming out – but so is the good stuff! Trust me. Writing is one of the most powerful things you can do to sort out and get through a transition.
3. Get Support!
I keep saying this because it’s true and because it works! When I’m struggling I pick up the phone and call my coach. He has me back on track in less than 30 minutes. Lately, I talk to him once a week. So, get the support you need – GET A COACH!
I’m happy to report that my website has been moved to a new host. That means you can tune in to THE Unsticking Coach for more on what I’m learning about change and transition.
