Most of my coaching clients are women. And, several of them suffer from fibromyalgia or other conditions that cause severe pain.
When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia Dr. Donaldson
suggested that I was "Type A". I didn’t agree then. And, I don’t
completely agree now. Sure I can be driven and competitive but years of
chronic illness preceding the diagnosis long ago drove away any
tendencies to workaholism.
I began to ponder the characteristics that got me in trouble and
that I saw causing problems for my ‘wounded’ clients. What I saw were
people who put others first (last and always), failed to care for
themselves, and seemed to wedded to the notion of being Helpers.
I coined the term Type H to describe this condition. Apparently though the syndrome I call Type H already exists. It is the "Cancer Personality".
I read the list of characteritics and it was BINGO!
Bang on on all aspects. Especially the one about stuffing anger.Many of my clients confess to harbouring deep seated RAGE.
So, how come some people manifest cancer and others fibro?
Actually in some way they aren’t all that different. Cancer occurs when
cells go wonky and mutate, growing crazily, like eating one’s own body.
(Do you like my scientific explanation?) Fibro has been labelled an
autoimmune condition where our immune system attacks the body.
Really, doesn’t it seem to be about self-hatred?
And, fear.
I was abused as a child. Every single one of my clients who is ‘wounded’ was abused in some way: sexually, physicially, emotionally, or psychologically.
That kind of serious abuse leaves deep, abiding wounds.
What’s really sad for me is that the wounded person then not only feels unloved, unlovable, but DO NOT love themselves! In fact, at a cellular level seem to hate themselves.
It is as if they are trying to kill the bad that was done to them.
Yet, Jude (quoting the apostles) said to hate the dirty garment not the person who wore it.
So, why do we hate ourselves so much that we manifest this pain?
