Epilogue as Prologue
I died three times, that sixty third year of my life.
The first time I died it wasn’t my fault, really. It was his fault. My doctor’s fault, that is. He had prescribed Morphine for my pain. I cleary remember him saying, “Now you know you to be very careful with this prescription. I don’t have to tell you Morphine can kill you, if you’re not careful. I trust you because you’ve always been careful with your meds. But, you need to follow my instructions exactly.”
And, then Dr.White added, and this was his fatal mistake, “if you find one tablet of Morphine doesn’t kill the pain after four hours, take a second one. And, then if the pain still hasn’t subsided ”
Less than twenty four hours later I woke as if from a dream. “Wake up Mr. Lachmuth. Wake up, Can you hear me. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”
I opened my eyes and looked into the face of one of God’s angels. Coopery red, kinked hair framed a freckled, round pale Irish face. Deep chocolate brown eyes looked intently into mine. “Do you know where you are Mr. Lachmuth.”
“Nuhnhh. Nuhhn”, I slurred, my mouth full of cotton wool and my lips as dry as a prairie dust storm. Big Red, for that is what in my mind I called her, said, “I’m going to lift your oxygen mask and swab your lips with a cotton ball soaked in water. It should relieve the dryness you feel on your lip and in your mouth. Do you understand Mr. Lachmuth Nod once if you do.”.
In a moment you’re going to feel a little poke in your arm. I’m going to give you some fluids to hydrate you and them I’ll give you some medicine to combat the Morphine. Nod once if you understand, Mr. Lachmuth.”
I nodded once. And, then Red slipped a needle gently into the vein in my left arm. I was pleasantly surprised: it was just a tiny poke. The IV began to drip slowly into my vein. Red said, “Now I’m going to give you a little dose of Naloxone. The Naloxone will counter act the Morphine you took. Here we go.”
The Naloxone hit like a runaway frieght train accelerating down the steep eastern slopes of the Rockies. And, I finally knew the feeling my little brother had been trying to desribe. The lava exquisitely, slowly, caressing the insides of my vein. I pictured PacMan frenetically chewing the molecules of morphine. Better than ten thousand orgasms.Bringing me closer, closer to Heaven. To finally see and know God.
I had always wondered why addicts chased The Dragon. Now I knew. For The Dragon, accompanied by Big Red my guardian angel travelled through my veins, bypassing my heart, and an instant later exploded in my brain. It was like dancing on the stars. Like breathing the Ether between the Planets. In an instant understanding at the depth, bredth, and full extent of my Soul: I finally knew God because just for a moment I was God. And, at the same instant I was all her angels. And, his Messenger.
Then already the feeling, the knowing, began to fade …
To be continued
This is a pre-publication excerpt from Crash!: My Journey Beyond The Pain
Copyright 2014, Lyle T. Lachmuth, All Rights Reserved
