I delivered my Creative Unsticking(TM) workshop yesterday to the Calgary chapter of the Professional Writers Association of Canada.
Thanks to all who attended for your participation and provocative questions.
I want to focus on an "block" that was raised by one of the attendees because I believe it exemplifies a common struggle for writers and other creatives.
Here’s the situation. This attendee wanted to write a book but was stalled (blocked) by naysayers.
The same thing has likely happened to you. You were inspired to write an article or book chapter or a poem or a play or pen a piece of music or craft a sculpture or paint a picture or snap some photos.
So, what is the first thing you’re tempted to do after engaging in your creative act? Or, sometimes even before we create something we’re tempted to say something like, "I’m thinking of writing a book about [fill in the blank]".
Our first temptation is to show it someone else — and ask for their feedback.
And, that could be a BIG mistake.
First, why are we tempted to show our work to others. Well naturally we’re proud of ‘our baby’. And, like a new parent we want to show off our creation to others. It’s a very human thing to do.
But, the flip side of that ‘pride’ of creation is really the need for the approval of others. We have this need, in part, because except for procreation, creation is a solitary act. We put our soul and heart into crafting our work but we secretly wonder "is this any good?" So we ask others.
But, for writers and other creatives there’s a real risk in asking for feedback.
When we ask for feedback there are three possible responses: people could like (love) our work; people could dislike (hate) our work; or people could be neutral.
And, the problem for us as humans is that we have a very strong tendency to pay more attention to negative or neutral responses than to positive accolades.
And, by focusing on the negative we get stuck, stalled, blocked.
We don’t publish our work — we don’t put it out into the world.
There’s another risk in asking for feedback. By asking for another’s feedback we are intrinsically giving them the power to say what’s good or what’s bad about our work. In effect, we are saying "I don’t know the value of my work so YOU tell me!"
Another important thing to remember about feedback is that is merely someone else’s opinion! It is what they feel and think. Nothing more.
So, next time you’re tempted to ask for feedback remember the old maxim, "Be careful what you ask for, you might get it!"
