First a bit of a context … and then some more tips.
I’ve been teaching Stress Management workshops since 1983. My tendency is to teach what I’m learning (which is how I got involved in Anger Management for Men but that’s a whole other story).
In 1983 my life and job sucked big time — that’s when Stress Gremlins were gnawing the hell out me! So, I did a bunch of research and decided to offer a Stress Management workshop. And, I discovered a lot were feeling just as stressed as I was. If not more so.
In trying to come to grips with the causes and remedies for stress, and looking for ways to teach it more clearly, I developed a model of the stress ‘process’. By the way, I derived the idea for this model from Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy.
Some day I’ll have a pretty graphic of this . . . but for now imagine the following as a loop:
Situation (Stressor) <–> Interpretation <–> Feeling <–> Behaviour <–> New Situation
As I mentioned in my last post it’s not the event or the person that creates Stress — it’s how you interpret the event. That is, how you THINK about it! In other words, YOU create the Stress! Your thinking leads to Feeling(s).
Your Feelings lead to Behaviours or Actions. For example, you Feel anxious so you: take a pill, drink a beer (or 16), and so on.
That behaviour or Action then leads to a whole new situation — and potentially a whole new set of Stressors.
Clear on the model?
Originally, REBT, was called Rational Behaviour Therapy, but then they, as I had already discovered, recognized the role of emotions in the whole equation. That’s when they added the Emotive part.
Anyway, as I worked with this model it occured to me that in fact not only did our Thinking affect our Feelings, in fact the reverse was true. How we Felt in our body sent a message back to our brain that affect the Thinking process — "Oh Geez! My guts are in a turmoil. My palms are sweating. I’m really anxious!! "
As I pondered this notion and continued my research it struck me that, in fact, destressing strategies could be found in all 4 parts of the model. That is, you could apply Thinking, Feeling, Behaving, and Situational strategies to Defeat your Stress Gremlin.
Hope that’s clear.
Next, I really will look at some Feeling strategies for Defeating Gremlins
