This is for Paula who didn’t get that job in NYC she wanted.
First, let’s talk about rejection.
Why? A) Because, It hurts. Sometimes, it hurts tons. And, B) because until we deal with the emotional impact we can’t do an effective job of dealing with the ‘tasky’ stuff of job search.
It’s clear to me that landing the position in NYC was a big deal to Paula. So, Paula I’m guessing that not getting the job hurts big time. So, before talking about what you can do to recapture the attention of those folks in NYC, let’s talk about dealing with the emotions.
I don’t know what you do or what you want to do, Paula. I’m going to assume that because you’re reading this Blog you’re a Creative. If so, then the best way to deal with the pain of rejection is to immerse yourself in the pain through your creative process.
If you’re a writer, write about it. If you’re a musician, sing about it. If you’re an artist, paint it or sculpt it.
Get the feelings out of you and into the world.
Then, and only then do this…
1. Get really clear on why you weren’t accepted. Don’t assume it was the money. Ask. Best bet pick up a phone and say something like this:
"Hey this is Paula. I was really looking forward to working with you. I’m disappointed I won’t have a chance to contribute. It would be really helpful to me if you could tell me specifically why I wasn’t selected. What skills were missing? Experience? Attitude? I’d really appreciate that."
Take several deep breaths. You will need to park your ego and your defenses at the door.
Listen. DO NOT argue with any critcisms. DO ask for specific examples of behaviour. Take notes. Listen. Ask probing questions. SAY THANK YOU.
End with something like this, "Thanks so much. I really do want to work with you. I’d like to stay in touch with you. May I contact you in 3 months to see if more suitable opportunities have come up?"
Again, say thanks… AND, then send the person a personal, neatly hand written Thank You note.
If you don’t feel comfortable on the phone, then do this same process in writing.
I hope that helps Paula.
