Will Networking Work For You?

This is a copy of an article I orginially wrote for Calgary Business & Financial Journal. It was published in December of 1989.

Will Networking Work For You? By Lyle Lachmuth

What does networking mean to you?

Before I tell you what it means to me I want to share some of the answers I got to that question when I asked a few of the Calgary professionals who are part of my network.

Doug McGregor, chairman of the Computer Education Society of Alberta told me: “To me, networking is all about building professional relationships with one’s peers for the improvement of the profession. Our focus in CESA is to provide professionals an opportunity to share information about problems and solutions.”
Gwen Reid, Western Sales Manager for Computer Action told me that: “ideally networking is about sharing, about building a long-term relationship that involves both individuals providing guidance and mentoring for each other.”

Susan Letourneau, organizer of Calgary’s Synergy Breakfasts, sees networking somewhat differently. “Our focus isn’t business contacts. People come out to these breakfasts because the people they meet here have similar values and beliefs. They get information from our guest speakers but most of all they come for the support and encouragement.”

I didn’t manage to reach anyone at the Calgary Women’s Network. However, according to the promotional material their breakfast meetings provide professional women the opportunity to develop professional contacts and a chance to share ideas, skills and experiences.

It seems then, that most professionals see networking as being about making business contacts and/or sharing ideas. My own particular view of networking has been most influenced by the thoughts and ideas of my colleague Debra Derksen. I like her idea that networking is really all about quality contact with others. That is, having interactions with others, in which there is a balance of taking and giving.

When I asked Gwen Reid what networking behavior she most disliked, she said, “I dislike individuals who want immediate business from you, as if the fact that they gave you their business card gives them the right to bug you for a sale.” Doug McGregor told me the kind of behavior that turns him off is, “where the person seems to be motivated by personal gain. That is, there’s lots of taking and very little giving.”
No doubt you’ve been at professional meetings where someone busily jammed business cards into the hands of any nearby breathing human.

Think about it. What kinds of interactions have left you feeling bad? Likely it’s the ones that felt very one sided.
In my consulting workshops I teach consultants that the most effective long-term role they can take is one in which they act as a partner to their clients. For me, partnership starts right with the important first contact. It happens when you and I practice balance in our networking.

For me this balance of giving and receiving, this partnership, means that you and I give before we get. Like our bank account, before we make withdrawals we need to make deposits. Relationships work the same way: give then take.

Of course, I’m not advocating that you “give away the farm.” The information, knowledge and ideas you have are your stock in trade, they’re your product. You want to get paid, and paid well, for what you know. However, giving someone a hint, tip or fresh look at a problem is a good way to build up your relationship bank accounts.

But do be careful. It can be very tempting to impress someone by telling them everything you know. Too often I’ve seen inexperienced consultants – I did it too, folks – give away the whole answer to a prospective client’s problem. And, they did it for nothing! Don’t give in to the temptation. If you must talk, at least try to talk about what you can achieve and save the “how to’s” for paid time.

Remember I said that networking was about giving and then getting. When you’ve given your idea, it’s your turn. I believe its okay to then ask someone for a lead or referral. Say something like, “do you know anyone who might benefit from my services?” As Reid suggests, do be less aggressive about pressing your services on the person you’re talking to. Nobody likes a “hard sell.”

My wife tells me that God gave men one mouth and two ears for a reason and that it wasn’t just for holding up their glasses. So use your ears and listen. Balance in your networking also means that you listen at least as much as you talk.

You’d be surprised what people tell a good listener. We all love to talk about what we are doing. So…go ahead, ask some probing questions. And then, LISTEN. You may not hear something immediately useful, but you could pick up some important tips for the future. And, at the very least, you’ll have a better idea about what makes this potential client “tick” and what his business is all about.

Here’s the number one networking tip from the people I talked to:

– Doug McGregor told me: “Find the organization that best represents what you do professionally. Join it, participate actively and share your ideas.”

– Gwen Reid’s advice was: “Go to a meeting without any expectation of getting a sale, and give lots.”

– And, finally, this advice from Susan Letourneau: “Go to as many places as you can and talk to as many people as you can. There’s so much information to be learned.”

Next month I’ll tell you about some of the places in and around Calgary where you can practice your networking skills and I’ll share some further tips from Calgary’s other pro-net-workers.